Reliability of frozen drinks machines in question In a series of late night responses to several one-star Google reviews, Taco Bell assistant manager Sawyer Johnson fired back. Mr. Johnson, 18 of Mt. Holly, Oregon, posted identical replies to seventeen reviews left in the last week — each accusing the drive-up…

The hamster of doom — Let me introduce you to Rose, the zombie hamster of doom who lives in my head. Or do you already know her? Rose is mean, but I don’t believe it’s her fault. I give her free housing and I feed her — she’s hungriest at four in the morning, but…

Fiction Friday — When Betty looked at her own face she couldn’t see past her dangling wattles. They were just terrible — ghastly — an unsightly way for cheeks to be. No man wanted a girl with great sagging cheeks that jounce when she walks. She also felt her brown eyes, which sometimes…

Stop exaggerating — She spit on the plate and put the hash browns on top. It should go without saying the Sunday right after you dump the cook is one of the least good days to go out for breakfast. Maybe try church that week. Some people speak highly of church. If you…

After everything I went through — Judy says in a long-term relationship it’s important to learn to communicate. She says you can’t expect someone to be on your wavelength all the time. That’s why I want you to know it really hurt my feelings when I brought you that snake and instead of praise you said…

Tom deserves the highest quality kid blood Now that we’ve been exposed to the Wayfair child trafficking cannibal sex cabal of 2020, the scales have been lifted from our eyes. No industrial Scandinavian-style cupboard will ever go unobserved. The takeaway, as we all know, is that Paul Rudd is clearly…

Zone by zone — 1. California: Oh shit, everyone is dying. Elon Musk and his son, Wingdings 2.0, are stealing lithium from South Americans to make radtastic cars, only some of which will be shot into space. …

Fiction Friday — The Pasture It’s apparent, in retrospect, the horses would tear that sloping pasture into muddy ribbons simply by carrying their weight from one end to the other, day after day. I can’t say she didn’t warn me. Before the horses lived on this private acre it looked as solid as…